Honey trap

I sometimes get cold sores. Horrible things, that are the curse of a musicians life. With me, 3 things start them off. Being over tired...tick...sunlight....tick....and seeing someone else with one....full house. I didn't stand a chance really. Painful when you put the mouthpiece to your lips...but you can't show it and the show goes on. I have gathered a range of cures over the years. But the very best is thanks to bees. I won't say anymore, as no doubt the price will rise if it becomes too popular. So I am suffering in silence...and will now buzz off.

Woodland walk

Today I was involved in a natural burial. The coffin is usually cardboard or wicker. There is no headstone as such...as a tree or suitable shrub is planted. Plus the grave yard is in the middle of nowhere. Most people die of natural causes. I blame natural foods. Next we might have glass coffins...but that remains to be seen.?

And 2 veg

After eating my own body weight in chicken wraps  this week, I fancied a change and go for the traditional Sunday lunch. Yep...chips, bacon and a baguette. Of course, washed down with lashings of hot black coffee. I am easy...easy like Sunday morning.

The 4 musk rat ears

I have a happy little ark. The gecko angel settled in well and comes out to say hello occasionally. My budgie Ocean  sits on my head or phone every morning and shares toast with me. My new addition Lance the hamster is also very tame and considering the runt of the 10 babies, is putting on weight fast. The only problem is finding time for them all with bass and bone practice as well. Wonder if I can hire an animal nanny?

Monthly briefing

I consider myself to be a man of the world. I have seen and done many things.....some I will never do again !!!!! However, whilst having lunch, I could not help over hearing the 2 ladies sat on the table behind me. I couldn't help over hearing as they were that loud. They were discussing the effect that taking the pill had on their periods!!! They talked about light and heavy periods and spotting in their pants. At this point I was just about to pour Heinz tomato ketchup on my chips...but somehow I was put off. Today I have taken part in a funeral without a hearse. A cardboard coffin and family filling in the grave themselves. In fact they did everything and I travelled 32 miles just to watch in the end.

Meals on wheels

I LOVE apps. I have one for tracking my fitness level. One for saving me money. One for finding cheap barbers!!! But my favourite is the Wetherspoons app. No more queuing at a bar for food or drink...just find a table and order from the App. Perfect...or so I thought. There is no such thing as a free lunch...or so the saying goes ? I Forgot to turn my location on, so the app remembered last pub location. Ordered my food ...just about to pay...and a pop up box informed me....that I was 10 miles away from my table!!! I was so close to paying for a meal for a complete stranger sat at table 62 in Derby. Now I am generous to a fault...but not that much.

Legs

Chauffeured a friend into Nottingham today. Gave me an excuse to visit my old funeral company. Had to choose the day a priests funeral was taking place. A massive funeral, but had chance to chat with a couple of the managers and still treated as a friend, even though I have been left 15 years!!! The motto....never burn your bridges, unless you have been hurt badly and you have scars on your soul. This was followed by copious amounts of coffee and the sudden dawning...that I was lost and couldn't remember where I dropped my friend off. For saying I am ex forces, my sense of direction is pants. If there had been a war, then I would probably be sat having coffee in the enemies trench. My dad never got the hang of Roman numerals...he still thinks there was a world war eleven.