In the toilet

Elton John is coming to Derby next year....well rock my crocodile and blow my candle out. At £80 + a ticket and no less than 16000 seats to be sold...I figure he wouldn't do for 'experience ' or oooh we haven't got a big budget. Fact is, most of the audience, will be so far away, that they will have to watch him on a screen.. so why not stay at home?? Have a take away? 80 smakeroons can buy a lot of kebabs? Well tonight...we are playing for free...as we have every Sunday for last 21 years. Using petrol and buying beer. It costs us to play...as it does most musicians in the real world. Tonight I dedicate my solo to Felix.. my sole reader of meanderings...which reminds me. I went to watch Miranda at Nottingham arena. £46...and yes spent the whole evening watching a screen, whilst this small dot on a stage miles away..told jokes. In fact it could have been anyone? Maybe she was at home with her feet up. The front rows were only for the partially sighted? And it was recorded?? Makes yer think...

Rabbits in headlights

I feel I have been in the music industry long enough now, to categories certain type of instrumentalists.
With reeds it's 'Where are we?
Trumpets it's ' What time we on?'
Trombone ' Where's the bar? ' let me give you an example. No names mentioned. Recently we did a gig, where the organiser wanted a brand new visual opening. I used Woodchoppers Ball and using the medium of e mail...and numerous verbal instructions...explained it this way. The rhythm section, would already be on stage. On introduction they would start vamping wood. Then the saxs go on, sit down and join rhythm. Once they start the trumpets go on...and join in. Followed by trombones. When all in place...continue on from letter B on direction from named player. Easy? Nah. Rhythm go on...no problem. Saxs go on as rhythm start playing and join in. At this point I look round from my pint at the bar. The flipping trumpets had gone on with saxs and we're looking each other, saying what we doing!!!! So we leg it from the bar...to stage. But to late. The named instrument who is bringing us in at B...seeing the trumpets...think we are on...and counts into continuation phrase. We are still feet from stage...but I still manage to leap on stage casting aspersions at the horns....Your honour...I rest my Trombone case.

Lettuce spray

Really tired today...so treated myself to a trip round my favourite antique centre and lunch out. It's amazing how you can be buzzing on a gig...then next day you are tired out with the concentration? Well it did involve bass...and trombone...and choreography and singing...well to a fashion. So to put energy back into this poor tired body...I had a vegetarian salad? Confused? Yep me to.

Peasy

When people ask is it easy to play trombone...i always say yes....if you practice hard. I tell them all the slide positions are written on the slide and you just blow and all the music comes out. I did dislocate jaw first time i played. No one told me i had to blow in the small end.  Most applause is for singers and drummers. People can understand them. They figure.. that they can sing in bath and can also play air drums. Whilst brass and reed just push valves and keys and blow. So i have promised myself, that one day, when fronting, I am going to get a volunteer to sing twinkle twinkle little star...then get them to tap rhythm on a drum...then get them to blow it on my bone! Coffee?

Mystery tour

Have a few days off. Eating out a bit and my favourite eatery always gives a bag of crisps ( fries Felix) The maker of company running a competition. You get a code that generates a letter. Collect the letters...spell a holiday destination...and win. I am searching the maps frantically, trying to find a exotic destination called BINKY..? Had to cancel a band gig yesterday. We were mis advertised. No deposit paid and the adverts were minimal ,causing low ticket sales. It annoys me as they could have made lots of money...but it was down to the usual thing. ..apathy. Had a drive into the country today. Went into an antique shop...but kept moving , as they were stock taking. I am sure my musician friends will understand why i was reminded of James Stewart. Also inspired to take a photo to remind me of a happy day. Plus loads of coffee.

Single handed jazz

The importance of a one-handed saxophone - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/disability-36168077

Well there is a one armed drummer...but as far as i know ..no one armed trombone players...although a foot could be used....i suppose? Going to try tonight....if i don't return then i put my back out ..