Thursday 11 August 2016

Bottoms up.

Ok. Today's blog, is not for the faint hearted. If you are offended by bums,bottys or the USA ass...then skip this page. My bowels have always been a medical mystery. From IBS..to the occasional hemorrhoid or two. I have had cameras down my throat and cameras up the Khyber pass...although they could not get there large hose pipe round...as apparently I have a loopy bowel system...oh joy. I also love spicy food like curry or chilli...but if I partake...then I have a bum like a Japanese flag for weeks. So imagine my delight when the NHS sent me a bowel cancer screening test letter. I can opt in..or opt out. For the uninitiated..it involves having a poo...taking a sample...and sending it off in the post...sorry Mr postman...I can't put you through that. I have opted out. I have many reasons...and some may think that I am silly. Maybe....but if I have anything, then I would rather not know...as I have many theories about diagnosis and the effect on the human mind. So for now.  My ass is mine...and ain't no Kodak brownie going within 5 feet of it!!~

4 comments:

  1. Absolutely brilliant! It can't be touched. The only thing creative I have that comes close to it according to my complaining doctor, is a loopy bowel system. In honor of your confused arse, here's to your last salvation--your blessed coffee.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Absolutely brilliant! It can't be touched. The only thing creative I have that comes close to it according to my complaining doctor, is a loopy bowel system. In honor of your confused arse, here's to your last salvation--your blessed coffee.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Why thank you dear Felix..I never thought I would blog about my bum!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Why thank you dear Felix..I never thought I would blog about my bum!

    ReplyDelete