Everyone that knows me, is aware of my phobia of cold germs. They know, that I will run a mile at the mere hint, that someone has the sniffles. I wouldn't say that I am expert at spotting the carriers...but I have got it down to a fine degree of expertise. Thing is, when you drive a limo, you have no escape. You can only pray, that no one sits in the front with you. At a funeral a few weeks ago, we pulled up at the house. I counted 7 people, which meant..one of them would ride shotgun with me. I took a quick scan of the mourners, carrying out a quick health check. 6 were fine ..but there they were. The tell tale snot bubble descending from the left nostril. The glowing hooter rubbed raw by the friction of numerous Kleenex tissues. But worse still...the hacking cough. Isn't it strange, that everyone coughs twice? Not once or three times!!! Have a listen next time you are in a public place. All hope was not lost though, I had a 7 to 1 chance, the passer of disease, would sit in the back and I could quarantine myself by the glass panel. But no...staggering towards the limo, leaving behind a paper trail of tissues and halls mentholyptus wrappers, they headed straight for the front seat and I am sure that I noticed a hint of glee as they could now pass on the nose dribbles like the 3rd runner in a relay race. I tried to hold my breath...but it was a 20 minute journey and as the veins stood out, I had to take a massive breath...just as the surrogate mucus carrier...sneezed...then coughed twice!!! I was doomed from the start. Now looking on e bay for world war 2 gas mask.
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